Internet, we need to have a talk.
I’ve had a number of readers ask why I’ve neglected to write about Amanda Bynes this last year. It’s simple, really. I don’t believe that celebrities are “fair game,” and that, when they have very human and very difficult struggles, I should capitalize on those things by writing an article, however well-intentioned. I believe they are deserving of privacy and respect, by virtue of their being people.
However, I’m making an exception here, because in the midst of the negative and callous press that Bynes has received, I think it’s time we had a chat about it from a different perspective. And then, after we’re done, I think it’s time we stop speculating about it altogether. Deal?
First and foremost, there is no way for us to know what, if anything, Bynes has been diagnosed with. The family has denied schizophrenia and bipolar diagnoses. And when I write this article about Bynes, I am only operating on the possibility – not the assumption – that these diagnoses are true.
Until Amanda Bynes comes out and self-identifies this way, it is not our place to make an assumption about her mental state. Most of us are not psychiatrists, and even if we were, none of us can make a diagnosis based on a Twitter feed. And it is Bynes’ prerogative to keep certain aspects of her life, including her health care, private.
For the sake of argument, we’re going to roll with the possibility, not the assumption, that Bynes may have bipolar and schizophrenia.
And on that note, I’m going to offer you a sobering statistic:
People with co-occurring bipolar and schizophrenia have one of the highest suicide attempt rates of any group. 70.6% of these individuals will attempt suicide in their lifetime.
You would think this would frighten us, and that we would be offering Bynes compassion on the mere basis that what she may be facing is, without a doubt, deadly.
Yet the vast majority of press and articles surrounding Bynes’ mental state seems to ignore the stark reality of her struggle, and instead, opt to mock her erratic and unusual behavior. Rather than recognizing that she may have an illness, they have turned mental illness into a spectacle to watch, enjoy, and ridicule.
We, as a culture, are alarmingly desensitized to the seriousness of mental illness, particularly when it affects celebrities. Whenever a famous person has a “breakdown,” or goes off to rehab, there is always a sensationalized headline and a gawking that we collectively do. We treat it like a performance to consume and be shocked by, to laugh at, to enjoy.
We have made mental illness into a form of entertainment, and this is reflected in the articles that have been written about Amanda Bynes as of late.
If no one has explained this to you, let me be the first to say that it is morally repugnant that we, as a society, are mocking mentally ill people.
If it is indeed true that Amanda Bynes has both bipolar and schizophrenia, she faces an uphill battle. These are both diseases with high mortality rates, and devastating symptoms that are difficult to treat. And while she faces these illnesses, the entire world is watching. To have the audacity of laughing and poking fun as she struggles with these painful disorders is truly disgusting.
It’s all fun and games until someone dies, as was the case with Robin Williams. When celebrities have very public “breakdowns,” we find them entertaining, sensational, intriguing. When celebrities die from these illnesses, however, we grieve for them, celebrate their lives, and profess our sympathy for their struggle.
Amanda Bynes may be battling two illnesses that could very easily kill her. Why is she not receiving the same level of respect, tact, and compassion that we afford those who have already died at the hands of these same illnesses?
Are we only deserving of dignity and respect if we die?
Does Amanda Bynes need to die by suicide before we will start valuing her life? How fucked up is that?
No matter what Bynes posts on twitter, or what wigs she wears, what we need to understand as outsiders is that something very difficult and frightening is happening to Amanda Bynes — and it is irresponsible to talk about it any other way, whether it’s to poke fun at it, or reduce it to her being “crazy.” In either scenario, it diminishes her personhood.
Why this reminder needs to happen is beyond me, but apparently it does: Bynes needs compassion, not ridicule, not laughter. Her struggles, whatever they may be, do not exist for your enjoyment.
Anyone who thinks an involuntary psychiatric hold is fun or amusing is horribly misguided. Anyone who thinks psychosis or paranoia is a walk in the park has clearly never been there. Anyone who thinks schizophrenia or bipolar is hilarious has never had their life devastated by these disorders.
I have. And I can tell you – there’s no pain on earth quite like it.
Anyone who has forgotten that Amanda Bynes is a human being first and foremost needs to step back, and do some serious soul-searching.
Any journalist or columnist who thinks Bynes’ behavior is great material for a lighthearted article needs to reexamine their motivations, and decide for themselves what kind of writer they want to be. Someone who profits off of someone’s pain? Or someone with integrity?
As someone with bipolar disorder, I want to offer a reminder to those who do not suffer from the disorder that making a mockery out of our struggle is dehumanizing. This should go without saying, but apparently it must be said: Mental illness is not a joke. Mental illness is not funny. Mental illness does not exist to amuse you.
If Amanda Bynes has taught us anything, it’s that mental illness can, in fact, touch anyone. It exists in every community, every city, every race, every social class, every gender. Celebrities are not immune to these devastating disorders. In fact, 13.6 million Americans live with a serious mental illness, and if Amanda Bynes is among them, she will need support and compassion to get through it.
What message are we sending, as journalists, bloggers, and writers, if we treat mental illness with the same brevity and amusement as writing about Kim Kardashian’s ass?
Did you cry when Robin Williams died, but laugh when Amanda Bynes was taken to the hospital? Why is that? I’m challenging you to really think about the ways that we treat folks with mental illness.
When we make these disorders into a joke, we become complicit in creating a culture where mentally ill people are taught to feel ashamed, isolated, and broken. And when we uphold that stigma instead of challenging it, it’s not surprising that so many people with these illnesses opt to take their own lives.
We need to do better. Not just for Amanda Bynes, but for all the people worldwide who suffer from these disorders.
It’s not a spectacle. It’s a goddamn illness.
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UPDATE (10/20/14): Due to the confusion surrounding the title, the article has been renamed from “It’s All Fun and Games Until Someone Dies: Amanda Bynes, Robin Williams, and the Spectacle of Mental Illness,” to omit the first portion. The intent of the original title was to compare and contrast the treatment of celebrities before and after they die — never to suggest that Bynes had passed away.
UPDATE (10/22/14): A new article has been written in response to this piece going viral.
UPDATE (11/9/14): Commenters have pointed out that co-occurring bipolar and schizophrenia is commonly referred to as “schizoaffective disorder.”
UPDATE (11/14/14): There is now an animated version of this article!
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As of 11/15, comments have been disabled on this article.
588 responses
Wonderful post. Thank you!
Thank you! 🙂 I’m glad you enjoyed it!
I have to say that while I find your emphasis on compassion rather than voyeurism a heart-warming sentiment, I think your discussion of “mental illness” is extremely limited. There is a growing group of professionals, researchers, and people formerly “diagnosed” who are refuting the whole biologic model of so-called mental illness (the biologic model has its roots in ancient Greece, so is by no means an innovation of the brain scan tech era). Much of the research about the organic causes of mental illness mistake etiological causation with neurological correlation; while I would acquiesce that there may be constitutional temperaments/foundations that play a role in the development of serious life challenges, I think that this challenges (a) existence on a human spectrum, rather than a group of “well” and “sick”, and (b) life experience, trauma, social circumstances, a person’s psychic decisions about navigating life, etc. etc. play a much more important role than mere biology. The biologic perspective is rooted in a materialist, capitalist culture that wants to sell you easy answers, in the form of lifetime regiment for medication, which the insurance companies would much rather pay than the alternatives of therapy and what have you.
Many of us have felt dehumanized, and even had our human rights violated by the biologic mental health system (forced medication, which is often ineffective and sometimes neurologically harmful; forced hospitalization; physical and sexual violence experienced while hospitalized; etc). You might be interested in checking out what is called the Peer Movement and the Psychiatric Survivor Movement. The Western Mass Recovery Learning Community is a fantastic example of peer-based work outside of the medical model. As for the body of research questioning the biologic approach, Michael Robbins has a fantastic book called Experiences of Schizophrenia–he ran a ward at McLean Hospital for many years. Gail Hornstein wrote a lovely book called Agnes’ Jacket that looks at some of these historical issues. Robert Whitaker’s Mad in America is also a good book, although somewhat sensational in tone. Professional organizations include ISPS, an international organization dedicated to the psycho therapeutic and social approaches to psychoses; Austen Riggs, one of the best psychiatric hospitals in the country; the 388 clinic in Quebec; Open Dialogues in Finland, and Healing Homes in Sweden.
As for the topic of suicide, and very loosely related to Robin Williams, I have recently written a blog post called “Informed Consent, Suicide, and the Ethics of Agency” questioning whether a person is granted the freedom of subjectivity and agency to navigate their own psychic reality, and to make decisions about their own living (or not) http://aestheticgallows.wordpress.com/2014/10/19/informed-consent-suicide-and-the-ethics-of-agency/
I don’t expect you to be familiar with my writing, as this is my first viral article, but I have written extensively in the past that I don’t view the Western model of “mental illness” to be unproblematic. My own personal view is more of a biopsychosocial approach, which is influenced by my undergraduate studies in Anthropology. However, when I am writing for a mainstream audience, and simply trying to initiate a dialogue, my articles need to remain short in length, and my comments cannot always be as nuanced and academic as everyone would like.
I appreciate the recommendations and will definitely check them out. You might also be interested in “The Protest Psychosis: How Schizophrenia Became a Black Disease,” which is along a similar vein, discussing the social construction of disease and the way in which it is used as a weapon against specific marginalized communities. It’s an awesome read.
Thanks for the comment. Sorry to be brief (I moderate each comment individually, which is time-consuming), but I so appreciate the feedback!
True, I haven’t read your other work, and while I could understand your aiming for a general audience, to me the implications of talking about “mental illness” as concretely as you do is not a mere matter of nuance or parenthetical academia… passing over the flaws of mental health system in such a swift way is, in my opinion, actively complicit in the systems of monism, exploitation, hegemony, charlatanism, and oppression that characterize our country’s mental health model.
Excellent article!
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Brilliant!!!! Very well done.
Thanks so much! 😀
Thank you is really all that needs to be said about your article. I have struggled with bipolar disorder for almost 5 years along with depression for most of my life. I have read countless books to look further in depth and to learn about my personal issues. But I have never read an article as good as yours that recognizes the struggles from a writers standpoint along with a personal standpoint. Treatment centers are not “fun”. I still have images that I wish I didn’t have. Not only from myself but also of those who have a much harder struggle. There is absolutely Nothing funny about any of it. I didn’t ask to have these issues nor any of my other medical issues that have changed my life and turned my world upside down and inside out. I live my life not in the spectacle of media. For those that struggle with these life altering dilemmas I feel horrible for. It’s not meant to bring comedy or enjoyment to a gossip reader. You wrote “Why this reminder needs to happen is beyond me, but apparently it does”. It is sad that we have to remind ourselves as human beings that the ones who are bombarded with flash photography are actually humans behind a celebrity status.
Thank you for courageously sharing your story in the comments! I, too, have struggled with bipolar and have the utmost respect for anyone going through it. As you said, no one asks for this. It amazes me that, as a society, we can be so callous toward someone who is clearly suffering.
I feel fortunate that I do not live the majority of my life in the public eye. I can’t even imagine how difficult it must be to be stalked by paparazzi, bombarded by the media’s accusations, and on top of that, gawked at by society at large. Adding that to the already difficult struggles she has, Bynes has all of my sympathy. I really can’t imagine.
You’re absolutely right in saying that none of this is comedic, and it has no place in “gossip tabloids.” To place it in that context trivializes Bynes’ struggles.
I’m glad that the entry spoke to you, and I wish you all the best in the journey toward healthiness and happiness. 🙂
This is such a great post. One thing that really needs to change in this world is our attitudes towards mental health and illness. For all the people that have laughed their way and passed judgment on Amanda Bynes and (unfortunately) her very public suffering, I wonder how they would feel if the same thing happened to them? Everyone laughing and making light of your very real, debilitating and personal struggles. How dare people feel the right to do this to another person who is very clearly suffering. From Robin William’s death, so many people cried and shared their memories of him and talked about how mental illness and raising awareness yet those same people are there laughing at Amanda Bynes and continuing the stigmas that surround mental health. We do not choose to have a mental health issue. And those people that perpetuate the stigmas are the reason so many people feel that they cannot open up and talk about their struggles and why so many suffer in silence and miss out on those important conversations that could save their lives.
This needs to stop. Mental illness is not a joke or a sport!
I’m so glad the article spoke to you! I agree with you, especially when you mentioned that these conversations could save lives — that’s so true. I think that silence, not mental illness itself, is often the real killer. It’s that same silence that makes it difficult to find help, to find support, and to feel validated and acknowledged. Without support and validation, this illness can do its worst and there will be little to push against it.
It does need to stop — and I’m glad there are folks like us to do something about it!
Thanks for your comment! 🙂
Love this. And I’ve always loved Amanda bynes. I grew up with her movies and acting so this hits close to home. I’m glad someone finally shed some positive light on who she is recently and what she’s going through!
Glad that you loved it! I grew up with The Amanda Show, All That, and of course, her movies. I think her acting and her humor was a gift to us all. It amazes me that people have forgotten what a bright light she really is. Somehow she’s now synonymous with her struggle, and no one seems to remember the laughter and joy she brought us. I have so much respect for Amanda Bynes, and I hope that she starts to feel well again soon.
I liked your post but I do have to add that I have never heard of a person that has a lot to do all the time and really enjoys what life has to offer have a problem with depression or bipolar disease. I think if you stay active and always seek out new things to do and try in life your mind and we’ll bring will be just fine. My husband and I have a full time business, we run it completely ourselveves instead of hiring help, I have no time to think if I am depressed or not! I’m sorry, but I do think a lot of depression is in ones head and it is a choice on how to handle, when I had a lot of help for the business, I found myself getting lazy and depressed, I chose to do something about it, work more!
I think you are confusing the emotion, sadness, with the illness, depression. We would never tell someone with a brain tumor to just cheer up and get active – we would tell them to have the tumor removed. Similarly, we would never tell someone with a thyroid disease to just smile and maintain a positive attitude – we would tell them to take the proper medications and regularly visit their doctor.
There is an abundance of scientific evidence that show conditions like depression, schizophrenia, and bipolar disorder are linked to imbalances in the brain. It seems highly unlikely that hearing voices, hallucinating, losing touch with reality, or in Amanda Bynes’ case, being absolutely convinced that a microchip was placed in her brain and that she is being controlled by outside forces, would be an instance of a bad attitude.
While I commend you for having a successful business and a great attitude, mental illness is not an issue of perspective. To suggest that those who are suffering from these illnesses need to adjust their attitude places the blame on the victims of these illnesses. The reality is, even the most successful, well-adjusted people can suffer from these illnesses. People who have everything going for them can suffer, inexplicably, from mental illnesses – because they are illnesses of the brain, not attitudes.
As someone who has grappled with bipolar disorder for their entire life, I can tell you that I had loving parents, a secure home, lots of hobbies, and a good number of friends. I had all the ingredients for a successful, happy life. I was surrounded by support and encouragement. There was no “logical reason” for me to have developed bipolar disorder. And yet, as a teenager, I found myself deeply depressed and unable to function. I had everything going for me, but bipolar still struck.
When I became an adult, despite every attempt I had at thwarting my illness – a vegan diet, exercising every day, positive affirmations, yoga, meditation, even religious practice – it did not go away without a medical intervention from doctors. No amount of healthy, positive vibes changed what I was going through, because it was a physical illness that actually ran in my family.
With the help of medications and therapy, I can now say that, yes, I myself am a person with bipolar disease that can now enjoy life. I’m not sure if I could say the same without these important interventions.
You may have felt sad before, and maybe even for an extended period of time. But that is simply not the same condition as depression, which is chronic, agonizing, and biological in its origin. There is a difference. And when people suffer from any mental illness, they are never, ever at fault for it. It’s a condition like cancer, diabetes, or kidney stones – the brain is an organ, and it is not immune to illness.
If you’re interested in reading about myths surrounding depression in particular, this is a great article by the Huffington Post: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/09/03/depression-myths_n_5715453.html
Thanks for your feedback, and I wish you and your husband the best in your business endeavors! Congrats on your success!
Thank you so much for this reply – and the original post, of course. I don’t suffer from depression personally, but this was incredible and I hope more people will begin to understand mental illnesses more clearly in the future.
You are so incredibly wrong Wendy – my husband and I were so busy we didn’t have time to think either, and he was a youth worker at the time, with kids at our home, I had a full time job, he was working full time, AND going to university, and every night we had something going on with our youth group. Depression is not a feeling of being a little sad. PLEASE educate yourself. Depression is a chemical imbalance, cannot be helped by “being busy” “get over it” “snap out of it”. It is deadly, strikes anyone, busy or not. You are getting confused between depression, and feeling depressed. There is a massive difference. Keeping busy won’t stop it, or make it go away. When you have depression, you are literally unable to choose what you want for dinner, much less choose how to handle what you can’t even understand yourself. Your post makes me physically sick with anger. It is attitudes like yours that perpetuate misunderstanding and stop people from getting the help they need. I sincerely hope that no one in your family ever suffers from Depression, as you will kill them by telling them to “keep busy”. My was Clinically Depressed, and suicidal for over a year, and through the help of carefully regulated medication, counselling, complete cessation of all his activities at the time, and gradual change of lifestyle, mindset, being supported by a network of compassionate people and understanding triggers means that not only is he alive today, he is not dependent on medication and runs his own successful business again.
yeah i was born with bipolar, and im sure in a lot of cases of depression, it is actually an imbalance of chemicals. honestly kinda insulting when people say stuff like your comment, for a great deal of people dealing with mental illness, the last thing they want to hear is “i do this (whatever) and I’m not ill, therefore its your fault” not having a go, just saying
I was studying at high school, working part time, playing 3 sports and caring for my sister, I had no time to “think if I was depressed” and it wasn’t until I realised I’d had no more than 3 hours sleep for 3 weeks and attempted suicide that I realised I was in fact depressed. 5 years later I am still busy, but taking medication to regulate the chemical imbalance in my brain means I can continue to function in society. Your comment is deeply hurtful and blissfully ignorant, I am glad you have not had to experience depression, however fear that should your children one day suffer from the disease, that they will be unable to approach you about it, and do something that will impact upon you for the rest of your life. Depression is not a choice, depression is a mental illness, and to say or believe otherwise is ignorant and disrespectful to the millions of people worldwide who are battling the disease and struggle to wake up everyday. Please educate yourself before you ignorantly comment on internet posts. Particularly posts as important and well written as this one.
here here
Did you know depression is also a disorder of the neurotransmitters not functioning properly (chemicals) in your brain? Educate yourself.
If you had a serious mental illness such as those mentioned, you would have time to notice it, because you would not be able to carry on your business as before. It’s not laziness, it becomes a complete inability to function properly. Even if you were manic, there would be problems in how you related to customers or business contacts or even your husband. You don’t believe this because no matter how “depressed” you say you were (or more insultingly, “lazy”), you weren’t actually in a clinical depression, one that subsumes both mind and body.
Depression is when nothing works to make you feel better, not work nor anything. And no one gets the kind of psychosis that Amanda Bynes is experiencing from sheer laziness. I don’t think you actually know what bipolar disorder is.
But hey, if feeling smug and superior to other people because you run a business and are super busy, helps you feel better and supposedly keeps you from depression, you keep doing that. Maybe just don’t post it in public just to rub it in the faces of the mentally ill.
Wendy- I agree with Sam. You are confusing sadness with depression. You don’t chose to be depressed or have a mental illness, it’s something you’re born with and can’t control. You can’t just get over being depressed. You need counseling and medication. Depression is a chemical imbalance in your brain, along with other mental illnesses, and why you feel sad for no reason. You can have the greatest life ever and still suffer from depression. This country needs to focus more on mental illness and we could avoid school shootings, reduce homelessness and suicides.
Wow, this article made me tear up a bit. So good. I feel like you perfectly expressed what I had been thinking about this whole Amanda Bynes paparazzi situation. I too watched her growing up and so I think that’s why I feel particularly close to her even though I don’t actually know her at all. It’s insane to me that people laugh at her and her situation as it is SO incredibly sad to see that her mental health deteriorate so rapidly. I am glad to see that she is getting help again as it seems like she really was in a good place for awhile there. I remember thinking of her when she had been doing so well after treatment and saying “Wow, if so many others had the access to the level of treatment she got, how much less pain and struggle and drug dependencies and so on would there be in the world?!” It just goes to show you that mental health can be a continual battle and that there is no easy fix. Thank you so much for writing this article. It was so nice to read your perspective.
I am so glad that this article spoke to you! I had a very similar experience hearing about Amanda Bynes’ struggles. When she initially seemed to be improving, I thought about how important access to treatment really is — but when she wound up back in the hospital again, I realized that the struggle is much more complicated than accessing those treatments. No matter what level of privilege we have, the bottom-line is that these disorders are still a struggle for us all.
It’s also worth noting that while access to treatment is important, follow-up care is something sorely missing from mental health care today. Many folks leave the hospital, only to relapse because there was simply no follow-up. In fact, I think I read somewhere that the most critical period of time for someone with a mental illness is not before they enter the hospital or while they’re there, but actually the period afterward, when they have to transition back into their everyday lives and continue treatment basically on their own. I often wonder how we, as a society, could make this transition easier, from a policy and medical standpoint.
And you’re so welcome! Thank you for your comment!
Yes! I did not think about the importance of follow-up care. It’s so easy to assume that once a person has been through treatment that he/she is cured and that is simply not the case. Continual care is necessary and I appreciate that you have noted that. Again, really loved this article and your perspective in general. Thank you!
BRAVO … Fabulous article, thx for putting the topic out there, unfortunately don’t think it’ll help in the near future but these hard topics (why hard ? I guess ‘ Can’t see it thing’…) will hopefully one day be acknowledged as debilitating as what they can be – depending on severity, when someone gets help and other factors.
I have a mild (cyclothimia) mood disorder. What people don’t realize when they hear ‘Bipolar’ is that there are varying degrees. They automatically think ‘crazy, hospital, not stable’ and this is often NOT the case. I have never been hospitalized or had any problems with law or others due to mood disorder. I went to my Dr. 25 yrs ago saying my moods were up and down & I wanted it checked out … After a lengthy period the Cyclothimia was diagnosed… Without proper diagnosis & treatment (low dose med.) it would’ve got worse over the years. I eat well, drink a little wine, excercise regularly. I have been an outside sales rep for most of my career & love building relationships. My job is stressful & multi tasking is normal but I meditate & yoga, personal development course etc… All help me, I also have a S.A.D. Light that I use when it’s a cloudy day ( like many in Pacific N.W.)
To the lady in prior post that said ‘just keep busy & work through it’ …. You gave a great reply- there are days I push myself because I need to keep going. Lithium dulls most people’s personalities … No real highs & no real lows … There is SO much I am passionate about, but I often do feel the ‘dullness’ of my life, Not trying other meds. Because this one workshop control up/downs…. This is not a cake walk but I want to LIVE my life as fully as possible, push my comfort zone ( terror barrier as Bob Proctor calls it;) )
Thank you again for your insights…. Much needed. This conversation needs to continue, most people have no idea & they are living, working & playing with us daily generally and never know it
Thank you for adding your voice to this important conversation. I really commend you for how committed you are to your health and how you’ve pushed yourself to get to a better place!
Despite these being illnesses first and foremost, I do agree that we aren’t completely powerless in these situations. Getting well again definitely requires dedication on our parts, too. That doesn’t mean it’s our fault when we aren’t well, of course, but it does mean that we can empower ourselves to expand our coping resources and utilize some self-care to speed the process along.
I hope that more of us can use our voices to remind people that we do exist, and we deserve respect, dignity, and compassion! So glad that you shared your thoughts and enjoyed the article!
Great article and about time. It’s so easy to judge and pick on the perceived “weak” from the safety of a computer.
As someone who has lived with family members who struggle to manage their mental health, and who has worked with people living with severe mental health issues I have an understanding and consider myself enlightened and informed on mental health issues but I do not pretend or profess to “know what it’s like” so my following comment is strictly from that perspective. My one issue with your article, and this is totally personal to the individual who has the diagnosis, is that I would recommend your default to always be when speaking about others who may or do have a mental health diagnosis, you speak to the person first and the diagnosis second. For example, Mike identifies as someone who has schizophrenia. He does not identify as a schizophrenic, therefore I would speak to Mike as someone with schizophrenia.
In the 10 years I worked with people who have mental illnesses, rule number 1 that I was taught was people with mental health issues are not their illness, therefore we should not identify them in that way (schizophrenic, bipolar, etc.) unless of course they make that choice for themselves and prefer to be identified in that way. There was only one spot in the article where you label Amanda as the illness(es) but the rest of your article you were great and you even identified you self, “As someone with bipolar disorder”
I am always surprised when I read articles online or in the newspaper where writers refer to people as their illness. Most of my clients say that it’s dehumanizing and perpetuates the stigma.
Thank you for calling this irresponsible behaviour out. And I applaud you for your disclosure (because I believe we battle any kind of stigma when we talk about it) and for challenging the media to be responsible in their practices.
Keep it up!
Thank you so much for pointing out this issue. I think I fixed it now! I’m always trying to be mindful of these things, because as you said, it’s problematic to equate any person with their illness. It is, indeed, dehumanizing, and I’ve experienced it firsthand. However, we don’t always catch these things despite our best efforts. The dominant narrative of our struggles is still constructed by others in this way, and the narrative becomes ingrained in us through repetition, even among those of us who ourselves struggle and should know better. Language does matter, and I’m committed to using my words in a way that is healing, rather than hurtful.
Thanks for all of the great work and advocacy that you do. Please continue using your voice as a powerful ally — your support is truly invaluable and much-needed.
VERY, ERY true… Spot on. I was told and agree that I am not my illness, unless I choose to be however my thinking is ‘ why would I choose to be my illness if I have the choice NOT TO BE…I may have challenges with thw illness but I can still live my life. I never think of myself as BiPolar because I have been fortunate enough to not have to think of it much in my daily life. BiPolar is something I deal with in a positive way, as positive as I can. I get down, even have been short term depressed but I have made changes to my life to lessen stress, situations I don’t like .. My health & we’ll bring in the most important. If I ever came out & told (& I have with a few people, not ashamed) people they would NEVER believe be… That’s what the original post is so out … I am not as bad off as many & can only relate to my own story, no one else’s but remember this you may have an illness but you are NOT your illness – thanks for bringing this up.
Sam, you are an amazing writer!
Great job
Thank you so much! 🙂
Such a wonderful article . I wish more people realized this double standard and would be more understanding of mental illnesses. So many are afflicted and still so few understand. Thanks for showing a new perspective!
Thanks so much for your kind words! And I agree — it’s startling how so many people are affected by these illnesses, yet so few seem to understand. The best we can do is share our stories and our words with the hopes that our collective understanding will grow, given time.
You nailed it in your earlier response to a commenter about medication. I was diagnosed with depression 20 years ago and bipolar 12 years ago. I can’t tell you how many years I struggled with thinking I didn’t need medications, only to have that reinforced by people telling me that I just need to ‘want to be well’ or ‘think happy to be happy’. It wasn’t until I finally connected with a good therapist and good psychiatrist that I finally made the connection that I had a medical problem that needed treatment with medication as well as ‘rehabilitation’ for my mind in the form of therapy. It’s a daily battle to remind myself of these things over and over again. Thanks for supporting this and I hope Amanda Bynes is someday in a similar place and able to offer support to others.
There have been many times when I thought that medications “weren’t for me.” There’s a huge stigma around these drugs. They’re often depicted as the “easy way out,” a signaling of defeat. We’re told they’re “happy pills,” which is far too simplistic a description, and give the impression that they’re trivial little pills that work like magic and fall from the sky, instead of their being sophisticated meds that have been studied closely for decades, and are prescribed by medical professionals.
So I resisted them for a while, as many folks do. I thought I could think my way out of bipolar, and for a while, I really did try. Looking back, I’m sad that I spent so much time barking up the wrong tree, when the right treatment was staring me in the face the whole time. I used to feel guilty for taking medications, because I thought it meant that I hadn’t tried hard enough or that I had failed somehow. That couldn’t be further from the truth. The decision to take medications, though it surely isn’t right for everyone, is something that takes a great deal of courage. No one takes the decision lightly. It’s anything but easy.
If we could destigmatize these illnesses and their treatments, the world would be, no doubt, a much better and kinder place.
I am so happy to hear that you have connected with some really great supports, and are taking care of yourself and your mind. Let’s hope that Amanda Bynes is able to do the same!
This is a very refreshing post. I think that what humanity needs is to step back and become more human. We seem to have forgotten that these people in the spotlight are real human beings. Thank you for your post Sam.
I hope your readers will take this message one step farther by beginning to confront and reject media that tries to sell all sorts of ridicule as entertainment…body image, self-esteem, alcoholism, drug abuse, mental illness, etc. When did making fun of someone else’s tragedy become funny?
This article was so well written!! I’m very impressed.
So true, thank you for bringing attention to this. Something that has always bothered me was the treatment of Amy Winehouse in her darkest hour. People were practically gleeful about her antics, when she was so clearly suffering. I don’t understand why we love to watch celebrities fall. We also love to see them rise above and come back, or to tragically die. I think celebrity gawking says a lot about our society and I think we need to evaluate and make changes to the way we idolize and criticize.
Very well put!
As someone who has struggled with mental illness the majority of my life, I can say that I have come to a conclusion that there is a major disconnect in society, on the grand scale down to the individual, about what an illness is and where inside the human body we can have an illness.
What I’m getting at is this: I see, hear, and experience an attitude that if the illness is inside our brain, we somehow have this magical ability to just think it away, stop thinking like that, decide to do this or that, or be busy, get a job, be productive, that’ll fix it. Well, I didn’t realize that our brain somehow ceased to be an organ of the body as equally prone and susceptible to illness and injury. Where the idea that humans have become liken to a car, where you change the oil and spark plugs (stay busy and stop thinking like that!) and we’ll run just tickety boo, is beyond me.
Comments that I read where some have suggested, and I quote “…I have never heard of a person that has a lot to do all the time and really enjoys what life has to offer have a problem with depression or bipolar disease. I think if you stay active and always seek out new things to do and try in life your mind and we’ll bring will be just fine.” …are exemplary of the clear lack of knowledge and basic understanding of the human condition which festers and feeds the ignorance that fuels stigma.
No two people on this planet are the same, and as a result (that shouldn’t be surprising to anyone, and if it is, I’m sorry for you) we experience everything in life differently, our bodies work differently, everything is different, period, end of story.
As for the topic of your piece, I agree, this planet needs a serious head shaking. The people who are laughing, mocking and whatnot over this, I have to ask here, who are the ‘sick’ people anyway?
Powerful message… I hope more read this.
very well said!!! celebrities are human but society see them as pure entertainers without life, they judge them like they’re perfect. they are a bunch of hypocrites and ignorants
So the article has gone a bit viral, so I haven’t had the time to reply to every comment individually. But I did want to thank everyone for your wonderful feedback, and let you know that I do read every comment! I am so grateful that this article spoke to each of you, and for those of you that have shared your stories, I applaud you for your courage.
The fact that this article could reach so many of you speaks to how important this message is to countless people, and gives me hope that, given time, we as a society and as a world can move toward a more compassionate and dignified treatment of those who grapple with these illnesses.
Keep sharing your stories! Your voices are all powerful, important, and worthy of being heard!
Great article ! Touching, very touching indeed. I have three people in my life with mental illnesses. One a schizophrenic , the other has BPD and the third one suffers from chronic depression! Trust me , the pain and struggle of all three is heart wrenching. And as a matter of fact, all three try to hide it from people that they have these as they fear this is a “shame”. But I often ask myself what is so shameful about an illness which manifested itself in somebody? And going by your article , what is SO hilarious about other people struggling? I guess it is the sadistic part of humans. It enjoys deriving pleasure from other people’s pain– you see, one can conveniently stand on a pedestal and judge people. Thank you for this article. I have been reading a lot about schizophrenia and have been trying really hard to find someone who has recovered from it, for an interview to put in my blog . You see , first hand accounts from survivors always help in taking small steps towards ending the social stigma around mental illnesses!
So well said!!!
Great article! I really hope she can find peace someday.
Nicely done.
Mental illness seems to be one of the last remaining targets people feel safe to bash with impunity, like body weight. Right or wrong, this crap doesn’t die until it becomes socially unacceptable to do it anymore, which is both disgusting from a moral standpoint and empowering from societal one.
Meaning, it SHOULD stop because it’s just plain wrong but it CAN be stopped by sweeping grassroots movements of social change that eventually reach a critical mass and finally get a politician or two to move their asses. Ask the gays how it’s done.
Then, when race, mental capacity, body size, personality temperament, sexual proclivity, age, and atheism are finally inculcated, mainstreamed, and boring, let’s all just move the fuck on. Because, people, please.
Great article! I really love her movies and shows I always watch them cause she’s so mazing. Hope she can get through all this.
I applaud you. Tell people how it is!
Reblogged this on dermogiraffe and commented:
One of the best straight – forward articles I’ve read in a while. It’s told with passion and conviction. I’m a fan!
You’re a wonderful writer to have put emotion on an opportunity taken to help readers understand how people like Amanda Bynes lose their way instead of bashing her. It puts things in perspective. Thank you!
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gdg21.wordpress.com
One of my favorite musicians – Frank Zappa – said his “favorite philosophical tenet is that people will agree with you only if they already agree with you. You do not change people’s minds.” Compassion is a trait that is unfortunately only exercised if the person already comprehends the hardship involved in what is happening. It is part of the human condition to be predominately selfish and whilst I agree with everything you are saying you should understand that – however unjust – the combination of detachment to mental condition and the dehumanization towards celebrities makes empathy in these circumstances a very vague area. Don’t get me wrong, it is morally twisted and what you are saying is important, but society as a vast majority has always, and will always find entertainment in what they don’t understand, especially if it is painted in that light by the media. I have friends that are genuine to the core that partake in this mockery, but there is very rarely, if ever, malice behind any of it. Celebrities are put on a pedestal but it’s part of the gig to acknowledge that and take it in their stride. If they’re unable to do that and take what is said to heart then they should not be on that fucking pedestal, regardless of mental condition. It isn’t fair but the morality you’re encouraging will never exist as a whole within society. I sincerely hope your message sheds light on some readers perspectives though, it’s a really great article.
Amazing, I’m glad someone has finally said it!
I think the term; ‘mental illness’ is in and of itself, a pejorative and callous way of identifying and explaining the existential difficulties that some people face. The term serves to label the individual as genetically defective. It also serves as a way to reduce an individuals reality of suffering to nothing more than a biological dysfunction.
This in itself is a heinous crime against the delicate and sensitive construct of a more complexly built individual. You will also notice that the individuals with the most to contribute to humanity are the ones often labelled as defective. In my opinion, we label visionaries as defective for three reasons.
Firstly because they threaten the delicate construct of widely advocated social norms and secondly because we are taught to hold contempt for those that do not follow mainstream thought.
Thirdly because these people, in their visions and explorations, often stumble much closer to the truth than our leaders are comfortable with.
And so, in order to isolate and discredit them, we label them as ill. Thus isolating, invalidating and censuring their otherwise profound discoveries. Most notable men of history paid the price for the genius with some form of complimentary madness.
It is often noted that genius, madness and creativity are inextricably intertwined. Hollywood and the publishing industry appear to hold up and celebrate these characteristics through the mediums of film and literature, suggesting that such traits are desirable but only within the confines of an abstract and removed, alternative reality.
However; anyone showing these traits in real life, are denounced as heretics and madmen. Why such a disparity, why are these qualities revered in Hollywood but eschewed in real life.
This disparity and hypocrisy is glaringly obvious and what’s more a sad reality. By labelling individuals as ‘mentally ill’ You rob them of any goodness they may wish to share and create. It’s really about cauterizing thought that contradicts mainstream theory. This is ‘influence management’. And so these ‘afflicted’ individuals are reduced to nothing more than fulfilling the role of ‘fool’ or ‘jester’ within society’s court.
Such a disservice! Such a loss!
What exactly is the criteria for mental illness. Who has the right to preside over such decisions, who grants one man the authority to label another as defective because they are not the same as themselves. If we truly look into the depths of the mental health industry, it soon becomes clear that the whole range of human behaviours and emotions have been categorized as symptoms of mental abnormality.
Human emotion itself is being outlawed. In light of such a view one could not be blamed for thinking that we all are mentally ill. Taking specific behaviour traits and weaving them together to construct a mental illness in my opinion is the very definition of mental ill-health!
While I agree with you that the notion of madness has been used as a weapon against those who do not fall in line with social norms, and while I also agree that the idea of “illness” is a social construct, I think it’s important to note that we should allow people who grapple with illness to self-identify that illness.
And if someone chooses to use the label bipolar, or chooses to use the label depression, to explain something that they struggle with — something that impedes their happiness and ability to pursue their passions and find meaning — then it isn’t up to us to decide if it is pejorative. It is the oppressed that define their terms and identifiers, and it isn’t up to us to speculate whether or not their use of that word is correct.
I self-identify as bipolar because I feel it captures a great deal of my experiences, and also helps me relate to others what that experience is like. It is also something that is helpful when I seek out resources to manage it. And ultimately, I know my body, and I know when I am ill; I call this an illness because I have, conversely, experienced health, and I know that when I am struggling with bipolar, I am not healthy.
We should certainly scrutinize big pharma and question what “illness” is, and by all means, deconstruct away. But we should never take away the rights of others to self-identify, name their dis/abilities, and pursue whatever treatments they feel are necessary in their path toward wellness. So while I nod in your direction and validate what you’re saying, I will also encourage anyone who has experienced these illnesses to name them, self-identify, and treat them however they see best. Similarly, if they do not wish to identify that way, I’ll defend it just the same.
I agree with your response as well, namely in the right of the individual to self-identify with their own symptoms and to use a particular label or signpost as a way of dealing with and addressing certain personal difficulties.
My issue is not with those that self-identify but more with those that seek to thrust particular labels upon you without having first hand knowledge of either your background, contributory experiences or general disposition.
It is a brave thing to explore the self on such a deep level. I take umbrage not with the individuals that are on their own journey of understanding or self-care. My point refers more to those that would seek to apply a specific label to you, to divert you from your own self-knowledge and awareness and instead seek to make you wear a coat or label that does not fit, but because it is more convenient, it is thrust upon you.
I have major respect for those that seek to address their personal situations. And as you rightly say, it is an individual choice. One should adopt the most appropriate label to their own unique set of symptoms. It is not for others to interpose a label, because it is fashionable or more convenient for current medical thought and theory on such matters.
I do not in anyway discredit or devalue any label that any individual personally relates to.. I think it takes an inordinate amount of strength to be so honest with the self.
I would also like to clarify my use of the term pejorative. I am not implying that particular labels are pejorative. I am simply stating that the term ‘mental illness’ is a collectively pejorative term. This is not deliberate, but an unavoidable event that is largely shaped by mass perceptions of meaning attached to specific words. For if you look at the schemas attached to both of these words and then you look at the juxtaposition of the two words wed together, what you have is an amalgamation of every mis-informed and judgemental perception attached to the schema of such words. And so within these two words the weight of every form of perception, discrimination and judgement is wrought upon the shoulders of those who willfully choose a label to identify with or forcefully have such a label applied to them.
Mental illness is indeed no joke!
This kind of thing just increases the stigma surounding this very real struggle.
It is very sad that we live in a world that where some would rather kill themselves than seek out help, because being rediculed by others.
Serins, I don’t mean to devalue what you are saying on any way, because for the most part, you are correct. However, people with psychological disorders don’t commit suicide because of others. The reason is usually very much internal. It is a black hole depression in which they believe, a) it will not get better, and b) that those aroundays them ( even if supportive and empathetic) would be better off and happier if they were gone.
I know this all too well. My point is that due to the stigma someone who might have sought treatment does not do so. To society Mental Health is after all one big joke…..
Thank you – I found this an excellent and powerful article. I have a friend with bipolar and my brother has schizophrenia, so although I don’t personally need reminding of the need for compassion for anyone facing these dreadful illnesses, I am humbled by your directness and honesty as you detail why, as a society, it seems we still do need reminding. I don’t have the answers as to why, at least not an answer that fits into a comments box, but I appreciate your clear invitation to step back and take a good look, and make clear conscious choices about how we respond to another’s suffering, whoever they are. Blessings, Harula xxx
Mr. Finch,
Thank you for standing up and defending those who cannot do so for themselves…whatever the reason why., because in their eyes many of us are the enemy. Ms. Bynes, having been diagnosed with not one devastating but another possibly devastating illness as well..schizophrenia, a deadly combination, I myself was diagnosed as bipolar exactly 10 years ago this year, and as the volatility of my condition went from yin to yang to yin and back and forth repeatedly, I’ve lost all the friends I’ve had and even many family members of my extended family.
I currently have just one friend that is aware of my condition…my mother, who is dying of stage 4 COPD. So, I’m 49 years old with no friends and a terribly dysfunctional extended family. If any one of them actually believe that I have problems, then I can only assume they do not want to approach me out of fear of retribution from the other family members. Even the Medical results over the last 25 years, the CAT scan, and MRI scans has done very little to convince them otherwise.
If any one of you non-believers could just for take a day or two and to learn exactly what it’s is like to be bipolar and schizophrenic, you would quickly learn that it has no outward symptoms to speak of, that is unless of course when you have a mental breakdown in a very public place, then it seems the very people who are the people that others look up to suddenly ‘freak out’ and either cannot or do not understand what is to be bipolar. I also have several physical issues that keeps me wheelchair bound. Do to briefly summarize my situation, due to being shunned by my own kin, coupled with the fact that I am confined to a wheelchair, it has caused an unfortunate side effect.
I have, out of shame, guilt, and other emotions I couldn’t even begin to describe; I went from an outgoing successful entrepreneur with a very successful internet access business with over 1000 clients, and earning on average of around $42/mo per customer… to someone who has no income, never leaves my house except to see my doctor, or go only grocery shopping twice per month, and can’t work. I have now lived as a hermit for the last 9 years, and during this time I attempted suicide twice. And with my immediate and extended family having disowned me simply because they didn’t understand, I had no one to talk to or to turn to for help. But my reply is really about Ms. Bynes. Essentially, if such a disease could hit me, it could hit anyone. The ‘loonies’ need to lay off hand leave her alone. Give her the time and space si that she can get the help that see needs.
Mr Finch, your article show the light of the heart of the I call the real ‘loonies’. The ones that can’t seem to deal with their own shit, so they have to find someone who is weaker… sometimes much weaker to unleash their own anger and frustrations upon someone else, but doing it in a way that is hateful, harmful, which unfortunately involves shame being slung at the same sufferers. But then again, there are also just some clueless idiots out there, and yes I’m including the ‘media’, who should know better. But all they seemingly care about are are their ratings, or their next ‘big’ story.
I did meet a friend briefly this past January and February. We met the third week of January and we hit it off right away, and I was excited…she believed it being only fair to tell me about her condition. Things were going well, then on February 27 she was dead. She had committed suicide that afternoon, dying from an overdose of Tylenol. While we had only a short time together it was heaven on earth, Both her her and myself were asymptomatic and was a Godsend for both of us. But something happened on the day she died, and I’ve gone over every minutia of my memory to try to find if there were any warning signs. I have had no luck so far.
Thank yo Mr. Finch for speaking out for us that have no voice, and aven if we could find a voice, it would seem that we would find it difficult to use.
CB
Humanity is so screwed up sometimes. I cannot comprehend how anybody could find mental illness to be amusing. Is it that fun to laugh at someone’s misery? This has been a very insightful post, thank you 🙂
Reblogged this on MAHANEELA.COM and commented:
Couldn’t say it better myself.
How is it that every time a celebrity has a mental breakdown they are topping charts shortly after? Total marketing scheme in my mind. The ones that succom are grieved?
Reblogged this on guinnessreilly5 and commented:
excellent Blog!
Very moving and well written. I agree with you fully, and while it’s sad something like this needs to be written, i applaud you for doing it 🙂
Beautiful post. Thank you for writing the words I couldn’t come up with. Thank you.
I am truly pleased to read an article that not only put the spot light on celebrity mental illness, but also mental illness over all. I applaud you for making a point of saying that mental illness is not a joke, nor should it be a source of entertainment as we who are lucky enough to not be afflicted with mental illness can hardly understand the difficulties of those who suffer from it. Bravo!
“When we make these disorders into a joke, we become complicit in creating a culture where mentally ill people are taught to feel ashamed, isolated, and broken.”
This. The whole article, but especially this. I started to choke up, maybe cry a little, at this point. Because this is exactly how it feels, and after a long time, it becomes exceptionally dangerous. Thank you for writing the article, and for being so brave that you’d share your own struggles in the public eye. Talking about it aloud without being terrified at the response is still a new thing for me; I haven’t even gotten to the point of sharing it with my family comfortably (and yet I’ll admit it here, and how ironic is that) yet, to be honest, which sounds really horrible, I know. I’m hoping it’s just a one step at a time thing.
Thanks. So true.
Reblogged this on tranquilitylifespa and commented:
I find this blog to be heart opening with compassion. Everyone should read it and pass it on. Mental Illness is a disorder disease and people know where the mind is the body soon follows. People with mental illness should be prayed for.
As some one who also suffers from mental illness ( not bipolar ) but chronic depression and bpd, I feel like I can not thank you enough for writing this article. I can only imagine what miss bynes is going through right now as I know we all suffer in our own ways, but I can only hope the help she gets will get her on the right track and help her through her battle! I would hate to hear of another life lost because of this illness… THANK YOU again for writing this and hopefully people will read this and understand what you have said it’s not something to poke fun of. It’s sad that we feel we have to suffer in silence because of the ridicule we may feel! If Amanda bynes and all the other celebrities who are dealing with their mental illness were dealing with cancer ALS MS etc no one and I mean NOONE would even think of poking fun… it’s sad. Anyways thank you again I will be sharing this article all over the place!
At first it looked like a bit too much to read but the title was too captivating and when i started i couldnt stop reading. Im not one to follow with gossip and this is the first iv heard of Bynes’s situation but i too am disgusted with peoples heads so far into their digital devises just waiting for someone to screw up in life. Its like the highlight of their world to see suffering of others. And those same people come up with the most heartwarming posts when something tragic happens, argh so fake. i love this article so much <3
A nice article. Could have made your point without the profanity though.
My brother is a diagnosed paranoid schizophrenic, he does socially abnormal things, he talks about the imagined happenings that make him paranoid and he doesn’t take care of his personal hygiene at all.
He is part of the reason i am studying to be a Psychologist, one other reason is my role as a stepmother to two children who have and will endure parental alienation, my third reason is due to the sexual assaults i endured as a child so basically i wish to help children who face any and all of these issues. I think we should be pushing for societal tolerance of the mentally ill and a better understanding of these issues.
Great article, really like the comments as well and that people are strong enough to share them. I just hope we all take it on board so that if we see someone in our lives who isn’t a celebrity who looks like they are struggling we don’t just shrug them off and leave it for someone else to worry about but rather be the person to help them or at least support them while they get the help they need.
Loved this article. Completely agree with everything you’ve said. Hats off!
Wow, this is incredibly articulated and brings a refreshing perspective to what seems like constant negativity and stigma surrounding mental illness.
Whilst not suffering from either of the aforementioned, 2 very close friends of mine have been diagnosed with bipolar, and watching the struggles that they consistently endure is heartbreaking.
In regards to people saying things along the lines of ‘get over it’, I’ve suffered from depression and PTSD for 12 years, and the amount of times I’ve been told to ‘get over’ the events that led me to the mental state that I feel somewhat trapped in pains me greatly.
I commend you on this article, people don’t see the adverse affects that mental illness can have on a person, and the media circus that surrounds celebrities is unbelievable.